


Self Absorbed

by beatitupright



Category: Outlast (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Mt. Massive High, Underage Smoking, vague references toward abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 18:12:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9249785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatitupright/pseuds/beatitupright
Summary: Chris doesn't get nervous when he orders food at the burger joint, Chris doesn't shake when giving presentations in front of the class, Chris can drive and likes to watch the sun rise while sitting on a stranger's lawn on Sunday mornings.





	

Eddie watches as the smoke of his cigarette trails away from him, the freezing air making it heavy. It moves slowly upward, no wind to guide it anywhere but toward the sky. The tobacco smolders low and somewhere in the back of his head he remembers it takes ten minutes to smoke a cigarette. Why do the last few minutes of his life escape his memory so easily?

' _You need to pay better attention to your surroundings Eddie_.'

The words of his mother haunt him and he has half a mind to say them aloud, but he's not even sure if he'd be willing to listen to himself at this point. Besides, he has Chris for that now, doesn't he? For a seventeen year old that guy sure does have some sort of mother hen complex. Every time Eddie sneezes he's greeted with a look of worry, every time he lights a cigarette around him he's overwhelmed with that _vibe_. That ' _I wish you wouldn't_ ' tone to words that, when taken literally, have nothing to do with the subject at all. The list goes on and on, but Eddie can't really say he dislikes it. And even if he did... Well. He wouldn't know which way to turn without Walker holding his hand. Not now. Chris doesn't get nervous when he orders food at the burger joint, Chris doesn't shake when giving presentations in front of the class, Chris can drive and likes to watch the sun rise while sitting on a stranger's lawn on Sunday mornings.

Chris doesn't have silly hang-ups. Not like Eddie.

If left to his own devices Eddie will walk all the way to town with a pocket full of cash, but forget to eat. He'll buy himself a soda, drink half, leave the cap off and toss it when it loses carbonation. He doesn't hear questions and even if he does he never has answers, only ever responding with long stares that make most his classmates uneasy. At parties he's known best for his disappearing act, at school he's known best for his temper. If he thinks too hard about it it drains him of energy because he just can't figure it all out. A faint memory of him promising his mother he'd do better tugs at the back of his brain and it infuriates him. He _had_ tried, he's _still_ trying, but progress has yet to be made. Questions still go unanswered and he still can't order his own food and he still doesn't know why.

With a grunt Eddie stands, dusting off the ass of his jeans to rid them of any filth the curb had left behind. The butt of the cigarette falls from between his fingers and onto the pavement where it's crushed by the toe of his sneaker almost violently. There's so much hate boiling his blood and when it isn't at a roaring boil it simmers. The counselor had told him he needed to talk about things so they could figure out what was eating him, but If one were to crack open Eddie's skull and play his memories on a projector they'd be sorely disappointed. Eddie can't remember anything. His childhood is blank, there is no story to tell. At least not from there.

But he doesn't tell anyone about the phantom hands touching his torso or the nights he cries for reasons he can't remember. No, that sort of thing is just life he figures. Everyone's got their problems, right?

Everyone but Chris.

Eddie's hand falls to his side and he can feel the blunt edge of the cigarette pack in his pocket. For a moment he wants to light another, he wants to smoke himself to death right here on this garbage-riddled street, but he doesn't. The rattling roar of an old engine in an even older Chevrolet frame shakes him from his dreary thoughts and he makes his way over to it.

"Took you long enough," Eddie says as he jerks open the rusty door and climbs inside the vehicle. "Thought you'd forgotten about me."

He's greeted with a smile despite his impatient tone and when Chris speaks that dumb voice with it's faint southern twang does what it always does; shoves the bad feelings back into their box.

"You know I'd never forget about you."

**Author's Note:**

> really sorry for how short this is... just wanted to write a little thing on the Ed boy
> 
> this highschool AU is consuming me


End file.
